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  • Writer's pictureEli

Silver Lamé Expectations

Updated: May 8, 2022

I have come to realize that people, especially the newcomers in the community, seem to have this notion that becoming a titleholder (sash chasing ) makes one an elite person within the leather community.

I am here to tell you otherwise!!!!!


Yes I do know how to become a titleholder. However I also know how to Show Up and Show Out without a sash!

My track record / blueprint has shown how I can teach those who are NOT part of any leather club, or even NOT known by any members of the of the leather community, because of being recognized and acknowledged by those who are established in leather culture.

However, having this type of influence has both it’s good and bad parts to both sides of the sword I carry .

One side: I’ve taken the time & energy to raise people in leather culture, show them every thing I know. Used my platform to get them to a place where I’ve wished for them to excel and accomplish more than I have out of love and admiration, all to be told that I am the one holding them back.

Side Two: I’ve taking the time & energy to step out of the box , to help ppl who were homeless in our community, bring them into my personal space to offer my abundance so my words match my actions within the community I serve. All to hold that community member to their word in becoming accountable for their own independence. What I got in return after revoking my collar and my safe space was endless lies, defamation of character, and clout chasing.

So before I tell you about the Handle … and how I keep a tight grip on it on one of my Pillow Talk w/ Master Ra of #IHOR let me share this:

What I have found is that ppl in our community ONLY see the sash , and NEVER Recognize the HUMAN BEING behind the sash!

Our community members expectation of its titleholders comes across as gods who are ALL KNOWING … I have had ppl say to me in my face and on social media, “As a titleholder you should know better Eli”. As if there was a titleholder college that I failed to attend or something.

ALL of the expectations of others on me were false impressions of what being an actual titleholder is really about and I am sure they will exist if and when you decide to become a fetish / kink /BAR/CLUB titleholder.

At least I can state on this platform what it all looked like from my perspective hopefully to prepare others who seek this position in their leather journey.

*This blog post has been edited on 5/8, by a slave of IHOR to correct grammatical errors.

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