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  • Writer's pictureEli

Admiring all the rose 🌹petals in the room.

This weekend I took the time to recall being told that I needed to take the time to stop and smell my roses.


LoL my kinky ass instantly thought about rosebuds. But that too requires work on myself to achieve that at position at this point in my journey.


As I’ve been doing my shadow work back in 2019-2020 when I tried my best to resolve some unresolved issues with a former sub over zoom due to a world pandemic, because I felt it was the best thing to do, I realize how what may seem like the best decision for me can be traumatizing to others, and right when I felt that I was in a good space in my mind body and soul.

the community‘s focused their spotlight light on those who out of nowhere were suddenly accusing me of date rape and a community Predator.


Rather than ignore these allegations I allow my ego to step in and change my corse from continuing to take the highroad in my journey to steer away from the negativity that dwells on the surface of the leather community with no real evidence.

Hindsight 2020, I now recognize that it’s not up to me to defend my Honor, it’s up to the ppl I have been honorable too. It’s not up to me to defend my loyalty to this community, because my loyalty is only seen by the people who I’ve been loyal to.

It’s not up to me to validate myself to those who have placed any value towards my life as a human being or as a person of leather. It's never been my expectation to expect any less ,or any more from anyone who has never invested in me or what I stand for.

I’ve learned to never live up to the expectations of those who have put me on their pedestals to hold me to their standards without my consent.

However, what I will say, is that this entire situation isn’t happening for no reason, which makes me see the value in all continuing to endure.



Everything that has ever happened to me that has NOT Killed me has made me has made me a stronger human for the betterment of my village and tribe.

Because I did my shadow work in 2020, I am able to see ppl for who they/ them really and truly are.

The universe has allowed me this opportunity to see the people who actually love care and support me.


The people who I’ve planted seed with, who honestly know my intentions, and my heart are the one who have my best interest in mind.

The people who have taken the time to check in on me to see if I was ok. The people who have blossomed in my inbox , called on the phone, or FaceTime me are the folks who make up a Beautiful bouquet of the flowers I am taking the time to acknowledge in making my life worth living.


Thank you Universe for allowing me the opportunity to stop what I been doing in the pass to open door for now opportunities to happen. Thank You for allowing me the opportunity to give myself permission to take a step back to admire the work that I've done and will continue to do within my journey.



Thanks you for Preparing a chair for me to get the chance to sit this one out.



Thank you for all the real friends who have grown and unfolded their advice and unconditional love to become the roses the universe has gifted me.


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